Dating Online Email


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Answering personals ads: What you write can get you a Date!  

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Press - First Step to Lasting Happiness

Step 1: Writing to a potential date  

Email the people whose profiles interest you. If you hit if off with one of the people you've met, great. If not, don't despair; thousands of new profiles are posted every week on all of these matchmaking systems. Even if you have success with one, keep plugging along and corresponding with several people at once.   Until you are in a committed relationship with someone you should keep your options open.

Create a good first impression: When it comes to that first email, where you're tentatively putting your heart out on the line, many of us get the electronic equivalent of dry mouth -- or worse, say things better saved for down the line out of nervousness. How do you walk the line between being friendly and over-intimate? 

Experiment and find a style that works for you. Use the subject line like a headline, proofread, and be creative, positive and genuine. Avoid anything canned or trite.

Pick-up lines don't work, and you will rarely make a good first impression, or get a response using one. First emails should always be individually written and work best when conversational in style.  You can always tell when a member is sending a cut and paste of the same thing to everyone he/she writes.   It usually is about them and says nothing about you or what they liked about your ad.

Mention something about the recipient's profile. Was there something said that interested you? Ask a question or two and include some brief information about yourself.   What did you like about the profile?  What common interests do you have.

It's okay to flirt or tease a little, even during your first contact, but keep things light and friendly.  Do not write anything about sex, using any sexual words, or talk about how you are the perfect match or soul mate.   You are getting to know a total stranger.  Again, keep it if you were meeting a new colleague that is working for your company.
If your response doesn't convey the right message, you may not hear back from him/her. Remember that you probably aren't the only one that liked her/his ad. Your response may be one of many. Make what you have to say stand out. Give him/her something to write back about. Ask questions, offer to answer questions. This is your chance to get to know more about each other.  

Things you should keep in mind as you answer ads

Remember that your words may not be read by your new friend's eyes alone: He or she may open it at work, or in the presence of friends. ('Fess up: You've shown all YOUR friends love letters, haven't you?) So don't write anything you'd be embarrassed to be confronted with later, say when you meet his friends a few months from now.   Also, even in the largest of cities, people tend to run in a certain social circle.  Even in an anonymous ad or email, someone can tell who you are by a just a few of the things you write about yourself.

Test the water. If your relationship seems to be moving from friendship to something steamier, introduce your romantic exchanges gradually. Rather than a long outpouring of your every romantic inclination, try something brief like, "I found myself thinking about you today in a manner that somewhat surprised me. Want to know more?"

Always respond promptly to any emails or romantic advances you wish to encourage. It's tough to hang out there wondering whether your message hit or missed. If you don't get a reply, you might want to revise your response and try again. It may be that your first response didn't even make it to the person. That does happen. Or it may be that you just didn't express yourself properly. If your second attempt fails, shrug it off, and start browsing again. Above all don't take it personally. Keep trying, and keep learning. As with anything else, this takes practice. Practice expressing yourself, practice reading the true messages in the ads, and practice getting to know yourself. 

If you do get a reply, keep the conversation going, but don't get too long winded at first. Talk about what you are keeping active with. Ask about her/his activities. Start building the friendship. 

DON'T respond to any correspondence that is  lewd or crude or in any way makes you feel uncomfortable. Most matchmaking systems offer you the option of blocking unwanted mail from members that you don't want to receive.   If you have problems, write the system administrator about changing your screen name. DO report any obscene E-mails you receive directly to the system administrator. On a non-adult/alternative lifestyles system, obscenity, foul language, and abusiveness are usually spelled out as reasons for termination in the rules and regulations you agree to when you sign up. Provide the system administrator with the users screen name, copy and paste the emails that were sent to you.

Expectations: Don't get your hopes up too much. Quite often you can be sending messages back and forth on a regular basis, and then it will suddenly stop. It's all part of the game. Don't be overly disappointed, just start over
again. Relationships through the personals are the same as any other relationship. Things can be going great, and then you start drifting apart. It's all part of life, and isn't a reflection on you, it's just a normal part of life. E-mail does sometimes get lost.  Even though you may feel you've come to know that "special someone" through your online interaction, DO remember that the people you meet online are in fact strangers.

If you have been getting regular replies, and all of a sudden you don't get one, send another message.  The main thing is to respond to the ads you like. Don't let the fear of rejection stop you. You will start to feel more comfortable once you've had a little success. It just takes a little perseverance, and a willingness to learn. Remember that they placed the ads with the hope of getting responses. You aren't intruding on them. 

DON'T believe everything you read. It's very easy for someone to misguide you via their online correspondence. Remember that the person at the other end may not be who they say they are.

More about expectation and some words of wisdom.   Don't get caught up in the "romance" of online dating.  You don't know someone until you date them.  Have a positive attitude and think about finding a new friend, not a relationship.  Who knows, you may make a terrific new friend, have no sparks between you and want to hang out together as buddies or fix them up with another friend you know that would be a better match.  In fact, if several of your friends are meeting people on line, make a pact to introduce each other to really cool people you meet that just aren't your cup of tea.  

Get inspired: Writing someone you don't know is not easy.  If you fall into the romantically impaired category, don't give up. Online romantic correspondence is part talent and part inspiration." Here are her tips for translating what's in your heart into words on the screen:

Relax and get in the right mood for romance. Have a glass of wine, play some seductive music and dim the lights. As you loosen yourself up your words will come more easily.

Write about feelings, not facts: "I was delighted and a little excited to find your email waiting for me this morning."
"I noticed that you like sailing.   I have a 30 ft sailboat at XYZ marina.  I am always looking for a First Mate."   

Trading Photos:   Many people do not post photos because they live in a small town and everyone knows them, they are high profile in their community and other personal reasons.    When you get to the stage where you are trading emails, exchange photos from your secondary email account.   If the person is NOT willing to send you a photo or says they don't have one, move on to the next person.   You don't have time for people who play games.

Step 2.   Chat on line

Chatting on line first is highly recommended.   There are great services from ICQ, AOL instant messenger, MSN and Yahoo pager.   If you use one of the services currently with a long list of friends, you won't want to be stalked be a weirdo later.  Treat your main Instant Messaging system like you would your own phone number.  Do not give this one out.   Install one of the others on this list for people you don't know.    Don't chat in an online chat room.  You never know who might read personal information and you and the other person will be less likely to reveal important information about yourselves.

Chatting online first before talking on the phone is important for several reasons:

1.  You are in control.   If the person turns out to be a weirdo or a jerk, it is easier to cut off someone on line versus hanging up the phone on them.    It is as easy as turning off your computer or deleting them from your instant messaging system and writing their email account a half hour later and saying "My internet connection dropped me off....sorry.   I thought about our conversation and I don't think we are a match.  Good Luck to you."

2.  People let their guard down more in an online chat vs. talking on the phone.   You notice if someone is not answering questions.   In a phone conversation, people change the subject easily and you forget what you asked.  

3. You can cut and paste a record into Wordpad  what you talked about and save it for future reference. This enables you to go back and see if the person has changed their story from the time you talk to them on the phone or meet them in person.

4. Ask about everything! Marriages, divorce, children, education, career choices, hobbies, likes and dislikes.

5. Chat at least once or twice before you talk on the phone.

Step 3: First Phone Call

Wow, there is enough common interests and you like what you see.   After you have emailed back and forth for a few weeks and chatted on line a few times, you will want to talk on the phone.    It is recommended that the man give the lady his phone number.  There are too many stories about people being stalked by phone.   Dial *67 before you place the call.  

 Once you have made it past a few phone calls and a first meeting in person and have established that this person is decent and you feel safe, give your phone number to the man.  Set up at least one or two phone conversations -- more, perhaps, if you two aren't in the same city. Use these talks as a way to get to know the person better and to judge whether you want to take the relationship to the next step. 

On the positive side, treat your first phone contact as an actual date, a way to get to know the person better and see whether the online spark translates into the offline world.  Set up a time when the two of you will each be home and alone.  Make sure to allow at least an hour to chat on the phone.  If you are talking to 3 or 4 online pals, take notes so you don't get things mixed up.

Now you are ready to move on to Meeting 101!

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How to Find the Best Online Dating System?    You don't need to go far.   Click below to try out some of the hottest places on the internet to make new friends:

The best places to meet people on the net today: 3 day free trial  The 3 day free trial is really FREE!  One of the MUST TRY Dating sites on-line. Match is a leader in online personals, matchmaking and dating.  View Photos of discriminating, eligible singles in your area among more than 12 million member profiles. You get FULL ACCESS to all the features of Match, including searching, matching, instant messenger, and sending anonymous email to other members.   Make contact without revealing your identity until you are ready.  Exclusive Match Technology finds your most promising matches.  Save Time:   Venus delivers new Matches and Search profiles directly to your inbox.

Spark The Place to find Romance Completely FREE . The best place to meet quality singles. They have more than 10 million members with 15,000 more joining each day. You're a few clicks away from your new love life.

Marriage Minded Singles at E-Harmony has a matching system that is based on clinically and scientifically proven attributes that lead to successful, satisfying relationships. It lets you make choices about others with the confidence of knowing each match is highly compatible with you. EHarmony is an outgrowth of the general principles on marriage and relationships outlined by Dr. Neil Clark Warren in his books, seminars and clinical practice. Check out his books: Finding the Love of Your Life and How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less.

Perfect Match - Featured in the film Must Love Dogs and on Dr. Phil! Singles enjoy a FREE compatibility profile, highly compatible matches, easy to use features, partners like Lifetime TV. Matchmaking for singles based on 30 years of research.

Chemistry  is a new site from the team at, designed especially for people who are actively seeking meaningful, long-term relationships. Relationships are built on two equally important foundations: compatibility and chemistry. Other sites may help you find out if you're compatible, but only Chemistry   next-generation system, based on years of research into human attraction and successful relationships, is designed to help you find both of these essential elements.  

Single Democrats Meet Up with single Democrats that have liberal, independent or moderate views of the world.

Single Republicans Personals and Dating for Conservative Singles.  Dating for GOP Conservative Republican Singles

Young Single Professionals    Free Membership.  Meet upscale young single professionals who share your interests by ZIP CODE. A great site to find a friend, network, or a someone to hang out and play golf, tennis or other sports. Meet Single Doctors, Attorneys, IT Professionals, Accountants, Programmers, Project Managers, Executives, Business Owners. You can browse their database of over 1 million members and send anonymous emails or post your own free profile!.

Find A Date Now The solution to finding a great date!  Dinner and a movie?  Dancing? Holding hands, and great conversation while you share a bottle of wine?  Find a date in your city now!

Big Beautiful Women Personals  Big beautiful people, meet here! If you are a BBW or just admire big women, BBW Personals Plus is for you. Chat, photos, detailed profiles and more. This is a comfortable community for BBW singles.

Looking for someone that shares your faith?  The following systems have the largest databases of quality singles in each religious category:    

Check out the following Ethnic Communities:

View Photos of Latino Singles on Match te ofrece un lugar seguro para conocer a otros solteros/as que se ajusten a lo que estás buscando. Es tambíen un lugar excelente para hacer buenas amistades, y sobre todo crear relaciones que pueden llegar a ser duraderas fuera de la red.

Latino Hispanic Dating  Spanish Personals es ideal para encontrar a ese gran amor de tu vida, o simplemente conseguir una cita con otra persona. Además en Latino Dating podrás ampliar tu círculo de amistades, alrededor del mundo. Disponemos de más de 1,000,000 miembros registrados.  U nete gratis. Nuestro servicio es ánonimo y fácil de usar. A continuación aparecen algunos de nuestros miembros. Unete a la página más grande especializada en relaciones personales de habla española-

Canadian Singles and Personals le premier site de rencontres pour la romance, l'amitié. Voici quelques-uns de nos membres chez

Meet Canadian Singles  Search the second largest Canadian personals dating service with over 10 million singles for FREE. Send instant messages to singles, email, chat, flirt, ice breakers.

French Friend Finder  Meet French speaking singles: Canada, US, France, Europe and more.

Italian Singles  Caters to Italians and singles who love them!  Interact in both the native Italian and English through live chat, message boards, email.

UK Singles Connection  Date other singles in Great Britain, Scotland, Wales and Ireland. UK online personals site with chat rooms, thousands of personal profiles, and much more. A personals service for men and women looking for a partner to share love, romance and relationships.

Asian Dating Over 5 million Asian singles. Meet Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese or Korean single women and single men. Email Asian singles with both Chinese and English interface. Meet sexy single Asian women in all Asia and the United States. Find Asian singles penpals, chat, friends and dating.

Chinese Singles Chinese dating and personals-Friend finder for Chinese singles in search of dates, romance or marriage. Find Chinese singles, ladies seeking a Chinese marriage or Chinese women seeking friendship or Chinese penpals . One of the largest Chinese personals and Chinese matchmaking service in China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, and United States

Filipino Dates Visit Filipino chat rooms and meet Filipino singles today. Filipino Friend Finder is free to join. Filipino singles chat, send instant messages, and browse through the worldwide database of singles profiles.

Korean Singles Online dating site for Korean singles. Find romance, pen pals, new friends, and activity partner and friend finder.

Indian Dating and Matrimonial Network Dating site for singles from India or of Indian decent. Find Indian singles serious about marriage: Hindu, Sikh, Christian, and Muslim.

Single Over 50?  

Silver Singles Meet over 50+  singles with similar life experiences

Speed Dating in Your City

25 Dates in one night at Hurry Date meet up to 25 singles in a string of three-minute dates in one night. Hurry Date Online subscribers get 25% off all HurryDate parties automatically

Speed Dating for Singles  Singles Speed Dating in Your City: Hurry Date,  8 minute Dating, Cosmo Party, Lock and Key Parties, Moxie in the City and more!

Dating Directories

Metrodates  Browse the personals by Metro area. Find a date in your city today! 

Best Singles Link  The best singles sites on the internet.  Lists links by national, regional, religious, and more

Try Match For Free


What are the best ways to meet singles in your city?   Go to as many singles events as you can. Variety is the key.  Don't focus on any one type of group.   First: Meet young single professionals at fundraisers, singles charity and civic organizations. Second: Join sports leagues, singles hiking, biking, outdoors, or adventures clubs.  Third: Join a church or religious group for Christian, Catholic, or Jewish singles. Also check out singles cruises and  travel.   Newly divorced or single parent? Get help at a singles support or divorce recovery group. 

What about online dating? Check out dating advice on to learn how to place personal ads to meet single men and women online.  Find great dating advice for online personals and meeting singles by using various dating services, dating agencies, matchmakers, introductions services. Check out the singles scene in your area to find a new relationship today!  Check out the list of online dating services above categorized by general, foreign/ethnic, religious, alternative, senior and single parents.

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Dating Site Reviews Match Free Trial | Spark |e Harmony| Friend Finder | Date Personals | Perfect Match | Hurry Date Online Dating |  True | Speed Dating Sites | Best Singles Links | Metro Dates | Young Single Professionals | Find A Date Now | Single Democrats | Single Republicans | Alternative Match | Adult Dating | Adult Personals| Sexy Singles |  Hispanic Singles |  German Singles | French Dating | Italian Dating | Asian Singles Italian Singles  |  Indian Dating Canadian Personals | UK Singles | Filipino Dates | Korean Singles Italian Dating  | Single Parents Personals | Single Parent Match | Christian Singles Match | Catholic Singles Match | JDate Jewish Singles |  Silver Singles | Senior Friend Finder | Matchmaker| Alternative Match | Hispanic Matchmaker | Ebony Matchmaker | Christian Singles Matchmaker Catholic Singles Matchmaker | Jewish Singles Matchmaker | Silver Matchmaker | LDS Mormon Singles Matchmaker | Big Beautiful Women Personals |  Chemistry | | Cupid Chemistry Dating  | 8 Minute Dating | Match Special Deal for Singles

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Copyright © 2000-2010 Since June 2000, over 500,000 singles search monthly to find links to the singles dating scene in their city. Local listings include singles groups, singles events and activities. Singles Groups are sub-listed by: singles dance, single volunteers, networking mixers, parties, nightlife, and singles clubs. also lists speed dating companies, wine tasting groups and dining clubs.  Christian, Catholic and Jewish singles groups are a top search and a popular place to meet single that share the same faith and values.