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Answering personals ads: What you write can get you a Date!
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Step 1: Writing to a potential date
Email the people whose profiles interest you. If you hit if off with one of the people you've met, great. If not, don't despair; thousands of new profiles are posted every week on all of these matchmaking systems. Even if you have success with one, keep plugging along and corresponding with several people at once. Until you are in a committed relationship with someone you should keep your options open.
Create a good first impression: When it comes to that first email, where you're tentatively putting your heart out on the line, many of us get the electronic equivalent of dry mouth -- or worse, say things better saved for down the line out of nervousness. How do you walk the line between being friendly and over-intimate?
Experiment and find a style that works for you. Use the subject line like a headline, proofread, and be creative, positive and genuine. Avoid anything canned or trite.
Pick-up lines don't work, and you will rarely make a good first impression, or get a response using one. First emails should always be individually written and work best when conversational in style. You can always tell when a member is sending a cut and paste of the same thing to everyone he/she writes. It usually is about them and says nothing about you or what they liked about your ad.
Mention something about the recipient's profile. Was there something said that interested you? Ask a question or two and include some brief information about yourself. What did you like about the profile? What common interests do you have.
It's okay to flirt or tease a little, even during
your first contact, but keep things light and friendly. Do not
write anything about sex, using any sexual words, or talk about how you are the
perfect match or soul mate. You are getting to know a total
stranger. Again, keep it light....as if you were meeting a new colleague
that is working for your company.
Things you should keep in mind as you answer ads
Remember that your words may not be read by your
new friend's eyes alone: He or she may open it at work, or in the presence
of friends. ('Fess up: You've shown all YOUR friends love letters, haven't you?)
So don't write anything you'd be embarrassed to be confronted with later,
say when you meet his friends a few months from now. Also, even in
the largest of cities, people tend to run in a certain social circle. Even
in an anonymous ad or email, someone can tell who you are by a just a few of the
things you write about yourself.
DON'T respond to any
correspondence that is lewd or crude or in any way makes you feel
uncomfortable. Most matchmaking systems offer you the option of blocking
unwanted mail from members that you don't want to receive. If you
have problems, write the system administrator about changing your screen name.
DO report any obscene E-mails you receive directly to the system
administrator. On a non-adult/alternative lifestyles system, obscenity, foul
language, and abusiveness are usually spelled out as reasons for termination in
the rules and regulations you agree to when you sign up. Provide the system
administrator with the users screen name, copy and paste the emails that were
sent to you.
If you have been getting regular replies, and all of a sudden you don't get one, send another message. The main thing is to respond to the ads you like. Don't let the fear of rejection stop you. You will start to feel more comfortable once you've had a little success. It just takes a little perseverance, and a willingness to learn. Remember that they placed the ads with the hope of getting responses. You aren't intruding on them.
DON'T believe everything you read. It's very easy for someone to misguide you via their online correspondence. Remember that the person at the other end may not be who they say they are.
More about expectation and some words of wisdom.
Don't get caught up in the "romance" of online dating. You don't know
someone until you date them. Have a positive attitude and think about
finding a new friend, not a relationship. Who knows, you may make a
terrific new friend, have no sparks between you and want to hang out together as
buddies or fix them up with another friend you know that would be a better
match. In fact, if several of your friends are meeting people on line,
make a pact to introduce each other to really cool people you meet that just
aren't your cup of tea.
Many people do
not post photos because they live in a small town and everyone knows them, they
are high profile in their community and other personal reasons.
When you get to the stage where you are trading emails, exchange photos from
your secondary email account. If the person is NOT willing to send
you a photo or says they don't have one, move on to the next person.
You don't have time for people who play games.
What are the best ways to meet singles in your city? Go to as many singles events as you can. Variety is the key. Don't focus on any one type of group. First: Meet young single professionals at fundraisers, singles charity and civic organizations. Second: Join sports leagues, singles hiking, biking, outdoors, or adventures clubs. Third: Join a church or religious group for Christian, Catholic, or Jewish singles. Also check out singles cruises and travel. Newly divorced or single parent? Get help at a singles support or divorce recovery group.
What about online dating? Check out dating advice on Singlesonthego.com to learn how to place personal ads to meet single men and women online. Find great dating advice for online personals and meeting singles by using various dating services, dating agencies, matchmakers, introductions services. Check out the singles scene in your area to find a new relationship today! Check out the list of online dating services above categorized by general, foreign/ethnic, religious, alternative, senior and single parents.
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