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Online Dating site Match.com is getting ready to start a new summer TV campaign that targets single men.   The campaign is called  “Too Many Women” and is accompanied by a 7 day free trial offer

Single men were the first to try online dating with the advent of the internet, and in the beginning made up 60-70% of online dating sites.  Over time, the women have caught up and surpassed the number of men on online dating sites.

Men that sign up for the free trial before the 14 September will get one week free. The offer will be accompanied by the original and best ‘make love happen guarantee’ from match.com which promises that those signing up who don’t find love in six months, will get six months free.

Jun
22

Three Steps to a Successful Date

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When you are out on a date, focus on the 1-2-3 steps for dating success:

1. Create a Connection

You have to resonate with your date by developing rapport.  Focus on what you have in common and start a conversation about those items.   If he is into golf, and you are into golf, ask him where he likes to play golf and get him talking about golf.

Stay positive and talk about restaurants, movies, sports and other items you both like. Maybe you both saw an independent film that you can talk about. Don’t talk about previous relationships, what your date does for a living, about their family or delve into religion or politcs.

The objective is to find ways to connect based on common interests. Most people date and marry those who are enough like us that we know we’ll have fun together.

2. Develop Chemistry

Once you have a connection based on common interests, focus on body language. Men not only love it when a women takes the lead in showing him that she’s attracted, but some men can be clueless.  Use small gestures sucy as smiling and looking shyly down at your plate or your glasss. Use your hands to play with any object at hand: your glass, the napkin, a lock of your hair. Whenever a silence falls in your conversation, don’t feel like you have to fill it up. When the time is right, reach over and touch his arm to direct his attention to something. Order an unusual dish  that you can try  together.

3. Show Honesty and Candor

Be more direct as you become comfortable with your date by opening up about more personal topics, like your favorite role models, your funniest dating experiences.   You should be relaxed enough that you feel you can really be yourself.   If you’re attracted to one another, tell your date.  So many dates end badly simply because both parties were too afraid to say or show that they were interested. Tell your date you are having a great time and that he/she is great company.   This way your date knows he’s being given the green light to kiss you or ask you out on another date.

If you aren’t interested, say something like “It’s been nice meeting you, or I had a nice time…… and I wish you the best of luck meeting Mr./Mrs. Right. Maybe we’ll see each other online again.” Or “I don’t feel we resonate on a romantic level but I enjoyed this evening.”  These are polite ways to tell a date that you aren’t interested but that you them the best.

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1. Confident women have an active social life. They spend time with friends, family, attend singles events.
2. Confident women don’t chase after men.  They give men a chance to court them.  Confident women wait for the man to call first.
3. Confident women have a positive attitude about themselves.  You are a catch.  Tell yourself that.
4.Confident women don’t make last minute plans to accomodate a man’s “spontaneous” nature.  The first few months you date a man, have set dates planned a few days in advance.
5. Confident women  don’t fret about whether or not someone liked them. Confident women ask whether they like the man and why.  If he asks for her number and doesn’t call her, a confident woman doesn’t assume it has to do with her.  Lack of chemistry, interest in someone else he met before you, he changed his mind, or other issues may keep him from calling.  Be thankful you found out before you had several dates.
6. Confident women don’t make a man out to be someone he isn’t.  Men will flatter you with emails, text messages, romantic evenings, flowers, etc.  Remember he is trying to make an impression.  Get to know who he really is. 
7. Confident women let a man live his life without checking in on him.  When a man feels free, he will attach to you more willingly
8. Confident women become unavailable when a man plays games or becomes unavailable. 
9. Confident women want a man in their life but don’t have to have one to be whole.  A confident woman won’t settle for a dysfunctional man or man with problems and baggage just to have a man.
10. Confident women trust their intuition and feelings. Confident women express their feelings and ask for what they need in a relationship.
11.  Confident women aren’t afraid of criticism or confrontation.  They work through problems.

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From Reuters: Men prefer being single over a bad marriage. 

Bachelor Carl Weisman got fed up of being classified as a playboy, a loser or a commitment-phobe so he set out to find out exactly why he and a growing number of eligible men were steering clear of marriage.

Weisman, 49, conducted a survey of 1,533 heterosexual men to research a book aiming to give women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single — and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties.

He concluded that most men were not afraid of marriage — but they were afraid of a bad marriage.

“Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all,” Weisman told Reuters in a telephone interview.

“This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don’t marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures.”

The release of his book “So Why Have You Never Been Married? – Ten Insights into Why He Hasn’t Wed,” comes amid a growing trend for more people to stay single, with less social or religious pressures on men — and women — to tie the knot.

Weisman said U.S. figures showed that in 1980 about 6 percent of men aged in their early 40s had never married but this number had now risen to 17 percent.

AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES

Weisman said his online survey found there are three groups of bachelors:

  • 8 percent who never want to marry
  • 62 percent want to marry but of which half won’t settle for anything less than perfection
  • 30 percent who are on the fence.

As for having children:

  • Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children
  • Three out of 10 want to be a father
  • The rest were undecided.

But while 72 percent of respondents said they were not afraid of marriage, about half of them said the situation that scared them most was marrying the wrong person.

“It’s so important to these men to get it right. My best advice to single women after bachelors is to be patient. If you’re in a hurry to get married you’ll be frustrated,” he said.

Weisman also found that financial issues, both positive and negative, played a large part in men’s fear of commitment.

“Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool,” said Weisman, an engineer-turned-author with two books now published.

“While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them.”

Weisman said his research blew away any idea that single men were unhappy. “A compelling issue was how many of them had found contentment in a never-married life,” he said. “They had created lives full of careers, friends and ambitions. It was not like they walk around all day worried about not being married.”

For him, researching the book made him also look at himself — and he ended up living with a girlfriend for the first time. “Now we’re looking at getting married. As I researched the book I found I was looking at men 10 years older than me and it was like looking into the future. If I didn’t change, nothing would,” he said.

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Jun
01

Ten Reasons Single Men Won’t Commit

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Why do men stay single?  Why do men have issues with commitment?  Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

The ten reasons why single men won’t commit:
1. Single men can get sex from a single woman without marriage more easily than in times past.  Single men view single women they meet in bars and dance clubs as casual sex partners rather than as someone they would marry. Many men can get a night in bed with a single woman they meet in a bar without even paying for dinner. However, once they have casual sex, men say, they are less respectful and interested in pursuing a relationship with a woman.
2. Single men can have the benefits of having a wife by living with a woman rather than marrying.
3. Single men want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.
4. Single men want to wait until they are older to have children. Many single men think they have a longer biological clock than woman and point to Larry King. The reality is that most single men aren’t aware of the genetic problems associated with the paternal age of a father over 40. See Male Biological Clock NYT Many single men who do want to have children are starting to realize that they want to be at a young enough age to enjoy them and really don’t want to be a grandfather to their child.
5. Single me fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises
6. Until they find a soul mate, however, single men are willing to wait to get married. They don’t want to “settle” for second best in their choice of a marriage partner, though they don’t have the same standards for a choice of a live-in girlfriend. Some single men see their live-in girlfirend as a second best partner while they continue to look for a soul mate.
7.Single men face few social pressures to marry.  Single men today have little traditional pressures from religion, employers or society to marry. Some single men will experience mild, teasing pressures from parents who wanted grandchildren, or from married buddies, but they shrugged this off. Some single men will think about marriage when their friends began to get married. But the effect of some of their friends’ divorces and doomed relationships keep single men from feeling pressure to marry
8. Single men avoid dating and are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children.  Some single men are uncomfortable with being thrust into the role of a play “daddy.” Also, the feel bad if they establish a relationship with the children and then break up with their mother. And most single men don’t want to avoid competition and conflict with the children’s biological father
9. Single men want to be financially “set” before they marry. For many men, this means owning a house before they marry
10. Single men want to enjoy their single lifestyle as long as they can. Many single men want to soe their “wild oats”.  Single men who have gone through this stage can become stable committed partners that have matured and grown up to become better partners.

 

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