Some things to think about for singles as they date…..the latest data reveals about who is getting married, when they’re getting married, and who is most likely to divorce.
- 44% of American adults are currently unmarried (Census Bureau 2000 data).
· The average age of a woman getting married in the United States is 27. Bride’s Magazine The average age of a man getting married in the United States is 29. Bride’s Magazine.
· 88 percent of American men and women between the ages of 20 and 29 believe that they have a soul mate who is waiting for them. University Wire, Louisiana State University
· 59 percent of marriages for women under the age of 18 end in divorce within 15 years. The divorce rate drops to 36 percent for those married at age 20 or older. “Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in the United States,” M.D. Bramlett and W.D. Mosher
· 60 percent of marriages for couples between the ages of 20 and 25 end in divorce. National Center for Health Statistics
· 50 percent of all marriages in which the brides are 25 or older result in a failed marriage. National Center for Health Statistics
· 57.7 % of marriages end in divorce, 75% of second marriages end in divorce Dr. Phil
· 65 percent of altar-bound men and women live together before getting married. Bride’s Magazine
·Research indicates that people who live together prior to getting married are more likely to have marriages that end in divorce. The Boston Herald
· A recent study on cohabitation concluded that after five to seven years, only 21 percent of unmarried couples were still living together. The Boston Herald
· 55 percent of cohabitating couples get married within five years of moving in together. Forty percent of couples who live together break up within that same time period. Annual Review of Sociology
· Children of divorce have a higher risk of divorce when they marry, and an even higher risk if the person they marry comes from a divorced home. One study found that when the wife alone had experienced a parental divorce, her odds of divorce increased to 59 percent. When both spouses experienced parental divorce, the odds of divorce nearly tripled to 189 percent. Journal of Marriage and the Family
·The likelihood that a woman will eventually marry is significantly lower for those who first had a child out of wedlock. By age 35, only 70 percent of all unwed mothers are married in contrast to 88 percent of women who have not had a child out of wedlock. “Finding a Mate? The Marital and Cohabitation Histories of Unwed Mothers,” Lawrence L. Wu and Barbara Wolf.
Do you wonder if he really likes you? Here are ten ways to tell if he’s just not into you. Before you check out the list, what happens if you’re just not that into him?
He never makes plans in advance
If he really wanted to see you, do you really think he would keep calling you on Friday to make plans for Saturday?
He talks too much about an ex-girlfriend or still talks to the ex-girlfriend.
It’s okay to reminisce about a past relationship, but if it’s all he talks about, could it be he’s not over her yet? If he is talking to her, why….he is supposed to be talking to you.
He won’t talk about the future
We’re not talking about ultimatums here or putting undue pressure on the guy.
But if he refuses to discuss where things are headed, then can you really count on him to be the one?
He doesn’t plan anything for special occasions
If your birthday is coming up or Valentine’s Day and it’s not on his radar screen, do you think your happiness is top of mind for him?
He lets you do all the work
It’s okay to plan some of the dates, but if you only see each other when you make it happen, then can he really claim to be committed to the relationship? If he isn’t romancing you, it’s one sided.
He’s not clear about your status with friends and family
Does he tell you that you’re his girlfriend but say something different in front of friends and family, like we’re just close friends?
He’s overly guarded about cell phone and email messages
People who hide nothing have nothing to hide. Why would he be so protective about messages if he had nothing to hide?
He has no interest in your friends and family and won’t bring you around his friends and family. If this relationship has a future, at some point he’ll have to establish relationships with the people important in your life. If he’s not interested in meeting your friends and family, could it be he doesn’t expect to be around too long? Does he include you around his friends and family. Or does he tell you he is exclusive with you while he is still searching for someone else while hanging with friends.
He cancels on you all the time
Making plans is great but not if they’re constantly canceled by him. What could possibly come up every weekend that he cancels his plans with you to do something else.
He doesn’t plan vacations with you.
He plans all vacation time with his friends or his family and doesn’t include you. A guy that wants to be with you will plan a romantic getaway for some alone time.
January is Best For Finding Online Love
By · CommentsWhen it comes to finding love, singles come back from the holidays with a New Year’s resolution to find the love of their life.
January is the busiest month for online dating services, with singles going online in record numbers to find soul mates or dates for Valentine’s Day.
There is a massive surge with singles re-evaluating their lives. They decide to not to marry their significant other and break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Or their dating life has been slow and now they want to jump start their love life.
With a projected 15-30% spike in the number of singles joining dating services in January, this is the time to join too. Hitwise, which tracks Internet traffic, found that more singles visited dating sites in January 2006 than in any other month that year, mostly due to New Year’s resolutions. Many dating sites start major advertising campaigns in January. The larger the database of singles looking, the more opportunities you have to find that special someone. This is a great time to check out a few dating sites. Join one or two. At less than $1.00 a day you have little to lose and may find the love of your life sooner than you think.
Five of the Top Dating Services to Try Today:
American Singles Free Trial and 50% off select subscriptions
Match Free Trial-Over 15 Million Singles
eHarmony for Marriage Minded Singles
Matchmaker Online personals for mature single adults “thirty plus” seeking long-term, committed relationships
JDate Jewish Singles Over 1 million members
Start the New Year right. Stop sitting in front of your computer. Get out there and make some new friends and meet the love of your life. Here are some ideas to help jump start your love life.
1. Take a class that interests you. Community College extension classes or places like the Learning Annex are great places to meet people with similar interests.
3. Go to a dog park. Single men and women who have dogs make particularly good partners, providing you like dogs. Singles with pets have the ability to care for another being, a sense of responsibility, and are able to form emotional attachments.
4. Go to a 12-step meeting, if you have a problem with drugs or alcohol you need the help, anyway. It’s also a great way to meet people who are willing to work on themselves. If you are the child of an alcoholic check out Adult Children or if you need help dealing with a relative or friend with a problem, Al-anon is a great place to go.
5. Religious singles should try their local place of worship. Attending services is a great way to meet people. Also, many religious organizations offer events and classes specifically geared towards singles.
6. Get out and go to restaurants. Try new places or restaurants that cater to singles or have music at night, which tends to attract a more social crowd. Sites like citysearch and aol ditigal city can help you search based on location, cuisine, nightlife, etc.
7. Online dating is a great way to meet people. You can learn a lot about a people based on their online profiles. Anyone who fills out a profile shows that he or she is motivated to meet people, is literate, and has a certain level of organizational skill. Make sure that, when you meet online dates for the first time, you do it in a public place and take all reasonable safety precautions until you know that person really well.
8. Speed dating which began in the 1990′s was the brainchild of Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish Ha Torah in Los Angeles. Originally formed to help Jewish men and women meet Jewish mates, over time speed dating has lost its religious connection and has spread all over the world. Speed dating, which is like musical chairs with human chemistry, is a proven and time effective way to meet a future partner. At a speed dating event, all men and women are given a numbered badge. The women are usually seated at individual tables and the men will rotate around the room meeting each of the women. A bell will ring signaling the beginning of the date and each couple then spends four to eight minutes (depending on the host’s rules) interviewing each other before the bell rings and the men move on to sit across from the next woman. During that time, speed daters can ask anything about each other except name, age and occupation. At the end of the evening, after going on 20 or so dates, the women write down the badge number of any men they are interested in meeting again for a regular date and the men do the same. If there are any mutual love connections, the host then lets the couples know.
9. Ask everyone you know to set you up on a blind date. Blind dates are a great way to meet people because the person who is setting you up knows both of you and is hopefully basing their decision on more than the fact that you are both single. If someone knows both your personalities they just might help you find your soulmate.
10. Bookstores are a great place to meet literate singles. Most bookstores have seating areas and some even have coffee bars.
11. Try singles groups. There are singles groups organized around seemingly every type of interest and age group for you to seek out and join.
12. Hit the gym. You can meet health conscious people and, even if you don’t meet someone, you are still doing something healthy that will extend your life and keep you fit.
13. Physical activity is a good way to meet singles. Start rock-climbing, surfing, skiing, playing tennis or golf. You never know who will meet while being active and doing what you love.
14. Go to sporting events. Football games, baseball games, tennis matches, golf tournaments, hockey games, extreme sports championships, and any other type of sporting event can be a great way to meet someone.
15. If you are looking for a woman, go where the women are: nail salons, spas, and hair salons are great places to meet well-groomed women and become a well-groomed man.
16. Going to a retreat can help you find singles with similar interests. Spending time away from home learning a new skill like meditation, yoga, or even self-exploration can be good for you, anyway.
17. Take a cooking class. You can master the art of the culinary seduction and meet someone at the same time.
18. Go to a convention for a hobby or interest.
19. Check your local paper for listings of upcoming special events and fun activities.
20. Matchmakers are back again. Not just for characters from Fiddler on the Roof! There are individual matchmakers as well as companies that set people up. There is even a company that only sets people up on lunch dates.
21. Take a magazine, book, or the weekend paper and go read at a quick outdoor restaurant like Jamba Juice, Noah’s Bagels, Starbucks, or Coffee Bean.
22. Happy hour isn’t just for drinking. Many restaurants and bars offer a special happy hour menu. People tend to be a little more social and open to meeting people after work.
23. You can always find sports-loving men at a sports bar when there is a big game playing. Often the bars will offer free drinks to women on those nights.
24. Volunteer! Studies show that people who volunteer have fewer incidents of depression and higher self esteem. Volunteering is a great way to feel like you serve a purpose in the world and a great way to meet people. Check out an organization like Volunteer Match to help you find an organization you will be excited to help.
25. Take sports lessons. Learning a new sport can help your fitness level and you never know who you will meet in your class.
26. Go shopping. Pick stores based on the kind of person you are looking for and spend some time browsing. Ask fellow shoppers to help find a gift for your “relative.
27. Go to a magazine stand. Hang out and read while looking for interesting people with whom to start conversations.
28. Go hang out at a coffee house. The more social the hangout, the better.
29. Go car shopping. Not in the market for a new car yet? Have fun browsing and talk to other customers. Each one is a potential date.
30. One isn’t such a lonely number. It is an approachable number. Go out to eat by yourself. It makes you easier to talk to. Bring a book or magazine if you are worried about being bored.
31. Go to a concert or a play. If you have the same taste in music or theater, who knows what else you have in common?
32. Start a blog. It is a great way to be creative and be part of an online community.
33. Go to the public library. Cruise the shelves for smart singles. Make sure to check out specific libraries like college libraries and medical libraries.
34. Start a company newsletter. This gives people from other departments a reason to talk to you. It could be good for your career too.
35. Circulate a sports pool. It’s a great excuse to talk to people at work you might never speak to. Ask friends if they know anyone who might like to join.
36. Host a coed (or single sex if you are gay) poker game.
37. Throw a singles party. Tell each friend you invite they have to bring two singles friends.
38. Take a singles trip. Check with a travel agent or do some online research to find cruises or trips just for singles.
39. Take dance lessons. You can learn to dance at a dance studio or, better yet, try a club that offers classes like The Derby. If you arrive without a partner the instructor will pair you up.
40. Learn the art of public speaking. You can boost your career skills and meet interesting people at the same time. Public speaking organizations such as Toastmasters are free.
41. Attend a trade show for fun. You will get lots of free goodies and maybe a date.
42. Start an investment club. You can become financially savvy, make some money, and meet new people.
43. Try a cuddle party. Cuddle Parties are affectionate play events for adults, designed to provide a space to explore and enjoy touch, nurturing and communication.
44. Hang out at the pool. Find a friend that lives in an apartment or condominium that has a pool where people hang out on the weekends.
45. Go spend a day at the beach.
46. Learn how to surf.
47. Organize a neighborhood watch. It is a great way to meet your neighbors, make your neighborhood safer, and meet a potential date.
48. Train for a marathon. Groups like the LA Leggers and the LA Roadrunners teach people how to train for the event, organize group runs and has guest speakers.
49. Ride a bike. Check out the bike paths in your neighborhood.
50. Do your grocery shopping after work or on weekends. You stand a better chance of meeting employed singles.
51. Join a car club like the Sports Car Club of America, BMW, Muscle Car Club, or Aston Martin. You don’t have to own a car to be a member of most car clubs. You can go to the events and even learn driving skills.
52. Attend a car show. Women this is a great place to meet single men.
53. Take a vacation. Places like club med cater to singles. There are lots of singles cruises to choose from.
54. Join a museum group. Museums aren’t just about art. There are car museums, wax museums, science museums, and even tar pit museums.
55. Try going to a performance driving school like BMW Driving School, Evolution Driving School, Derek Daly Academy, Fast Track Driving School or any number of others available in your area.
56. Attend an air show, a great place for women to meet single men.
57. Learn to sky dive from a certified instructor.
58. Learn to play an instrument.
59. Get a membership in a private social group or club.
60. Learn a language. Try a group class at a place like Berlitz. You could be learning the language of love! There are lots of practice groups with singles wanting to work on their language skills.
61. Take an art class. Painting, ceramics, watercolors, drawing, sculpting can all be great ways to explore your creativity and meet other creative people.
62. Go to a home improvement store. You can improve your home and your love life all at once.
63. Get on the board of a charity. It is a great way to give back to the community and meet generous people.
64. Feed the homeless. Many homeless shelters have programs that allow people to come in and work in the soup kitchen. It is a great way to donate your time and meet other kind souls.
65. Get politically involved. Get involved with your political party or volunteer to work for a candidate who is running for office.
66. Get involved in a political group. Young Democrats and Young Republicans are great groups to meet single young professionals that share common political beliefs.
67. Join a singles bowling or volleyball league.
68. Go for a walk in a different neighborhood or visit a jogging track.
69. Learn how to sail. Take a lesson or join a club.
70. Learn how to fly a plane.
71. Get certified in scuba. Most scuba schools offer snorkeling classes, instructor training, and can even hook you up with scuba travel destinations.
72. Get involved with the Sierra Club . The Sierra Clubs has more than 750,000 members. Inspired by nature, the Sierra Club members work to protect our communities and the planet. The club also has young professional groups in many cities.
73. Take an architectural tour of your city.
74. Go furniture shopping. Ask someone cute for advice.
75. If you are a single parent, check out Parents Without Partners. PWP helps parents who are struggling to raise children alone, contend with the emotional conflicts of divorce, separation, widowhood or having children out of wedlock. PWP Inc. is the only international organization that provides real help by means of discussions, professional speakers, study groups, publications and social activities for families and individuals. 76. If you have children, take a parenting class for singles. It will make you a better parent and you never know who you might meet.
77. Go visit an internet cafe©.
78. Spend a day at the hospital. Find out about volunteering, eat in the cafeteria, and shop in the gift shop.
79. Take your friend’s dating leftovers. Make a pact to set each other up with up with eligible dates that don’t work out for each of you. One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.
80. Have a “Dating Leftovers” party, like Charlotte did in Sex in the City. Ask each invitee to bring someone of the opposite sex (same sex if you are gay) who they are not interested in dating themselves.
81. Host a holiday dinner. Lots of transplanted singles have nowhere to go during the holidays. Be inclusive and invite friends to bring friends. The more the merrier!
82. Get a tattoo. If you are into tattoos you just may meet another like-minded tattoo lover. Just make sure the tattoo parlor follows all heath and safety precautions before you let them work on you. If you hit it off with someone you meet there, do not get a tattoo of your new friend’s name.
83. Go to your class reunion. Everything old is new again!
84. Take your dog to obedience class. You end up with a better behaved puppy and can meet other dog lovers.
85. Write or answer a personal ad. Make sure to meet in a public place to be safe.
86. Get a second job. You can meet new people and make some dough.
87. Learn to tend bar. Making a good mixed drink can be sexy. You can meet people in the classes or after you finish, working as a bartender.
88. Take pictures. Spend a day taking pictures around town. If you take a great picture of someone, get their info so you can send it to them later. You can also meet people in a photography class.
89. Bake cookies for a new neighbor to welcome him or her to the neighborhood.
90. Go for high tea if you are looking for women.
91. Take martial arts or a self defense class. You will increase you own sense of safety, get stronger, and you might meet interesting people.
92. Instead of washing your car at home, go to a car wash.
93. If you have kids, take them to an amusement park. It is great place to meet other parents, hopefully lots of single parents.
94. Teach a class about something in which you are an expert.
95. Visit a friend at work. Have your friend introduce you to his or her office friends.
96. Eat in a cafeteria. People tend to be more social in a cafeteria setting. Choose the one at your own work or meet up with a friend or colleague at his or her workplace cafeteria.
97. Go to a wedding alone. Parties that celebrate important milestones like: a Bar or Bat Mitvah, a christening, a graduation parties, a Bris, a baby naming, or a sweet 16 are all great places to meet singles.
98. Try friendship sites like Friendster or MySpace.
99. Go to a house party.
100. Host a singles party. Throw a theme party, an Academy Awards party, a Halloween party, a TV Show party.
Online dating renews women’s hope in love and sex, but can be just as disappointing as the real-life dating scene, according to new Canadian research.
Susan Frohlick, an anthropology professor at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg, says the women she surveyed gained a sense of empowerment from their online dating experiences.
But they still wanted the man to make the first move and expected him pick up the tab.
“Women are finding it as a useful tool to enter into the dating world, they find that it’s safe, they find that they can be a little more bold than they would in face-to-face relationships,” Frohlick said of her survey, which looks at how women over 30 view online dating.
“But, at the same time, they are experiencing frustration because it does seem that the Internet in many ways is just the same old bar scene.”
Complaints include a preponderance of men who are looking for much younger women, as well as men who misrepresent their looks, interests or marital status, or who show little interest in moving the relationship offline, she said.
“There’s not much of a difference between the virtual world and the real world,” said Linda, 33, a Toronto professional who has used an online dating site on and off, three or four times for a few months each time.
“It’s sad and equally as frustrating.”
Linda says she knows it can work out, noting that a friend met her husband after spending more than two years on different Web sites, but she admits she’s given up on the game.
“At least when you’re in the bar, you know what they look like,” she said, citing examples of meeting bald men whose profile pictures displayed a full head of hair.
“A lot more successful, attractive women are using these tools — I don’t think the men match up.”
Lori Miller, a singles and dating expert for www.lavalife.com in Toronto, says dating via the Web can mimic the bar scene. But it also gives women the chance to approach and meet dozens of men while knowing a little something about them beforehand.
“You’re literally thrown into the largest singles bar,” she said. “It is a lot of work, it is the luck of the draw just like being in that coffee shop and meeting the one.”
Frohlick’s small survey, to be completed in April, is questioning up to 25 Canadian women about their online dating habits. She hopes it will become a pilot for a far larger survey of women across North America. (Reuters News)