Ten Reasons I Won’t Date You
ByOnline dating has it’s moments. The weird and icky people you come across as you peruse the profiles your search. And the even more bizarre folks that write you. Here are the reasons single women will hit the DELETE button:
10. Your entire profile consists of some of the following phrases:
“fun-loving”, “open-minded” and “looking for that “special friend, lover” sounds like you are just looking for sex or exotic sex
“I’ll tell you later” in response to questions posed by the online dating service (tells us you are uncommitted to an answer, lazy, or just looking for something casual).
“Simple man” tells us that you are a bore.
“No Mind Games Please” tells us you have had bad experiences with women and don’t trust them.
“Laid-back and “enjoying life to its fullest” We all love fun. Everyone seems to think they are laid back. They are NOT. And if you were living life to its fullest, you would be having on hot date right now instead of messing around on the internet trying to find someone to have it with.
9. Your online dating profile has:
-the number “69″ such as Steve 69 I don’t care of you were born in 1969, the sexual innuendo in your profile name is enough to make me run.
-a name that make me want to run: knight in shining armor, knight, tiger, prince, king, vegas, cat, rat, poke, passionate, fox, hound, player, toy
-”New Friends Wanted or Lonely”-makes you sound like a desperate loner
- “A package deal” with a photo of your kids tells me your kids come first and we will never have alone time.
8. All of your photos were taken by yourself, using a cell phone camera or webcam. Get some friends to take you photo. By the way, we can tell by the hair cut and the clothes the photo is ten years old.
7. You are way out of my age range . I am not looking for a rich sugar daddy or celebrity, nor am I looking for a boy. If you are old enough to have kids in college. or young enough to think that stolen street signs are appropriate decor, do not contact me.
6. Your photo is shirtless/bare-chested. Sorry, but when we see a photo of a guy from a computer web cam bare-chested we assume he sits at his computer naked, and plays with himself while watching porn.
5. Currently separated is NOT legally divorced. I don’t care you are a week from signing the papers. Don’t wink or email me until the papers have been signed. In fact, don’t‚ wink until you’ve had a year or two to adjust. I’m really not interested in being your rebound relationship. Actually, don’t wink until you’ve been divorced long enough to at least question whether or not your marriage was that bad, and you’re really ready to get into a long-term relationship again. And if it was divorce #3, don’t wink, don’t email, don’t bother me.
4. If your hair is longer than mine, I don’t think you are a rebel, I think you have gender issues. My world is a mullet-free, clean cut, clean shaven zone.
3. Ball caps are for frat boys, or outdoor sports and beards tell me you are too lazy too shave or a secretive person. If I see you in a “lid” I assume I will have to see you in person wearing a “lid” all the time. We also assume a guy in a lid for a primary photo is hiding a bald head or a rug. Oh, and goatees are so 2000. Get with the times. Your main photo should show your full face, hair cut, and cleanly shaved
2. Spell and grammer check. Use it.
1. If I enjoyed exchanging raunchy emails and phone calls with perfect strangers, I would be getting paid for it. When I receive emails and calls that are raunchy I assume you do prostitutes. YUK!
Whether it’s your profile or an email you are sending, think about this ten items as you write and the impression you are giving your online love interest.
