How do you tell someone you just aren't interested?

It happens.  Whether you just meet someone at a party and give out your number and have second thoughts later or you go out on a date and find out that you are 1. Really not all that attracted, don't have that spark and/or 2. don't have enough common interests, values, shared level of life experiences or 3. you just feel it isn't there, you just know they aren't the one.

It's best to not lead someone on.  Once you know, the best thing is to try to get it out in the open and make a friend.   If they call and ask for a date, don't lie and say you have a boyfriend or girlfriend when you don't.  Chances are you may run into this person again and you'll be found out as a liar so don't make up stories.    At the same time, don't unload a list of reasons as it will just hurt the other person.  And don't say "It's not you, it's me".  That is so transparent.

A great way to handle letting someone you don't want to date down easily is say "I really enjoy your company and your friendship.  But I don't feel we are a fit.  I hope we can be friends."

It's so important to handle a let down this way.  If you haven't gotten physical beyond a kiss it's easy to make friends.   Social circles can be small and people intertwine and gossip.   If you handle things nicely, you'll have a reputation as a great date and someone that people will introduce to others.  If you are comfortable to have a friendship with the date that didn't work out, he or she can be another source of new people to meet and date. Since they have had time talking with you or getting together for a few dates, they have had a chance to get to know you and can introduce you to someone that is a good fit and you can do the same for them.

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