William D. Hicks,
Match.com
One day I was driving along, and a handsome
gentleman in a red Porsche pulled up beside me at a red light. This was
the parking lane, but he sure wasn’t parking. I could see he wasn’t
turning either—no directional signal. There’s no way my sport sedan is
going to beat an expensive sports car from a dead stop. He zoomed around
me when the light turned green, and I realized something: Gay men are
just like sports cars.
1. They go way too fast. Handsome
men expect other guys to move just as fast as they do. To keep up.
2. Upkeep is expensive. They cost
a lot of money to buy and own, new or used. Handsome men require lots of
coddling and ego stroking. Whenever I’ve dated one, I’ve felt like I had
to look my best, act my best and try to uphold their standards!
You must always wear clothes that will complement his. What goes well
with the three-button Hugo Boss blue-blazer he’s wearing? Certainly not
that 10-year old plaid suit of yours.
3. Repairs are costly. How much do
you think it costs to keep a handsome man looking good? Botox
injections, face-lifts and personal trainers are not cheap!
4. They get lots of attention.
Sure, all the other guys stare when you walk in the door with a handsome
man. But they are not looking at you, and all the attention he’s
getting could cause future relationship problems. Remember: The hottest
wheels of today are the mechanical headaches and heartaches of tomorrow.
5. Fads and fashions change.
Today’s hot rod is tomorrow’s lemon, so you must baby your baby. This
can be emotionally and financially costly since, just like cars, hot men
often become targets of jealous have-nots.
Perhaps it’s easier to buy and maintain
the old reliable sedan — Mr. Okay-Looking, Mr. Reliable. Perhaps he’s
the better choice. He may not be the most beautiful or fastest on the
lot, but there’s never a problem starting his engine on a cold winter
morning. A classic in the making.
Granted, there are those rare sports cars
— handsome gay men — that are beautiful outside and in. But finding one
is like finding a cheap tow on a Sunday night. The best way is through
research.
You could conduct some long-term research
by dating a guy, learning about him from his friends and by watching the
way he interacts with them. But a quicker method is to
quick search and peruse some interesting profiles;
connect with someone now, and you could drive off the lot with a new
model today!
