Elsa Weidman,
Match.com
Searching for love on
Match.com is similar to buying ice cream: There are just too many
delicious flavors to choose from. With more than 100,000 people registering
each week, it can be tough to decide who to go after: The intelligent
brunette with the dry sense of humor, or the handsome orthodontist with a
passion for philanthropy? The rocky road or the mint chocolate chip? It's a
tough choice.
Sure, all the profiles sound great: "I like to surprise women with
spontaneous adventures." But how can you tell if this guy's going to take
you on a trip to Belize or a trip to the buffet? You need to look deeper
into their profiles to get the truth. Here are four things to focus on:
1. Humor You'll notice that almost everyone, in their profiles,
claims that they're funny. But what kind of funny? If he writes, "I have a
bizarre sense of humor," don't be surprised if you encounter a whoopee
cushion on your first date. If a guy writes "lol" on every other line on his
profile, you may think, "Oh, he laughs out loud a lot. I like that in a
man." Well, think again — it could just mean he chats on the Internet all
the time and wants to show off his cool, chat-room lingo.
2. Appearance and age Now for the looks. If you don't like his
photo, there's a good chance you're not going to like his looks in person
either. Most people don't post unflattering photos of themselves. If a
fellow says that his physical look is a "work in progress," that's probably
a sign that he's overweight and out of shape — and perhaps trying to do
something about it. This may not bother you, but just make sure you're
reading between the lines carefully so you know what you are getting into.
Also, is he upfront about his age, or a little too vague? Ask if his
photo is a recent one and look for clues as to when it was taken — is that
haircut 10 years out of fashion?
3. Occupation The whole job situation is a touchy subject. If a
person doesn't reveal his occupation or salary range, does that mean he
lives in poverty, has a lot of money he doesn't want to talk about, or just
doesn't want to share his finances with strangers? It's really hard to tell,
although to be really safe it may be best to bet on the first. Look for the
clues in his personal profile. An old favorite of the under-employed is
"self-employed." I get cash out of the ATM, too, but that doesn't make me my
own boss. Now it's very possible he is gainfully self-employed but if he
continues to be vague and a little too grandiose about his work ("I own a
private corporate communications company"), watch out.
4. Dating motive Beware of someone's motive for finding a mate. "I
just got out of a bad relationship" is often code for "I need a rebound girl
to hear all about how Sheila broke my heart and ran off with Lyle." Others
may lure you with the line: "I'm looking for a friendship that could turn
into more," which sometimes means "I'm pretending to be ultra-sensitive so
you'll let me get to second base by the second date."
The dating world is rough enough, but online dating can be a breeze if
you know how to read between the lines of those hundreds of profiles. You'll
save yourself a lot of time and turmoil if you heed the early warning signs.
This way, you can cut through the B.S. and go on that trip to Belize with
the funny, great-looking guy who has a real job and the right dating
motives.
You know what you want, so what are you waiting for?
Search for local singles today!
