By Laura Schaeffer
You've started to think about dating again. Your friends have started
introducing you to people and sending you links to online personal ads. It
feels like the time is right. But will your kids be cool with the idea of you
dating? The answer is a resounding yes.
With a little sensitivity and a lot of talking, this process can stay
painless. Try these these six tips when you introduce the topic of dating to
your kids:
- Start a dialogue
No matter what you say, your children will
appreciate the fact that you're considering their feelings and open to
opinions. Chances are, after they realize that your dating life doesn't have
a huge impact on their day-to-day existence, they'll go back to talking
about what they did in school today.
- Reassure them
Tell your children that they are still the most
important part of your life. Take time to preserve routines and integrate
your new special someone slowly into the mix. Less disruption means calmer
campers.
- Reassure them again
Make sure they understand that they will always
be taken care of. It helps if you can spend quality time with your new
partner when the kids are with the other parent or with someone else they
trust implicitly. Kids need to believe that you won't run off with your new
love or leave them with a babysitter they don't like.
- Set some ground rules
Children should know they must treat your
date with respect, just as they must treat all adults politely. If you
insist on this point, everyone will be happier.
- Include them
It is essential for children to get to know the
new man or woman in your life — but only if you're fairly certain this
person may be around for a while. Passing dates or acquaintances need not
concern the kids. To make everyone more comfortable, plan activities the
children will enjoy and invite your date along. Trips to the zoo, the park
or the museum are a good low-pressure way for everyone to get used to each
other.
- Relax
Your children will take their cue from you. If you are
happy and easy-going about this new phase in your life, they'll relax as
well.
Reentering the dating scene can be a little stressful, but if you take it
slowly, everyone will be just fine. There are a lot of thoughtful parents out
there who deserve to meet someone special. Even moms and dads must have a
fulfilling romantic life.
Enjoy it while you can, though. Soon your kids will be asking to go out on
dates of their own. You will realize then that handling your own social life
was a piece of cake in comparison to worrying about theirs.
When the time is right, take the first step and
search for someone new. You'll be happy you did.