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Found your soul mate?  7 ways to tell 

Dr. John Gray, MarsVenus.com

The dating process is kind of like hiring a new employee. When you're interviewing someone to fill a key position in your company, it's essential to know who NOT to hire.

Sometimes, though, when you're getting to know someone, it's easy to get caught up in the excitement of the new relationship and forget to think about important issues which may come up as the relationship progresses.

Here are some important questions to consider when interviewing someone who might, at first, seem to be a potential soul mate:
  1. Do they accept responsibility? Listen (and ask for) stories about who is responsible for their past or present problems. If they take little responsibility for their actions and you get into a relationship with them, guess who'll be responsible for their problems in the future? Listen for: "It's my (boss's, mother's, or government's) fault."

     
  2. Do they show empathy and integrity? Or have they "gotten away with" something? Listen (and ask for) stories about how they have solved problems in the past. Do they show empathy and integrity? Or have they "gotten away with" something? This is an indication of their trustworthiness.
     
  3. Do they have personal insight? How easy is it for them to get below the surface in discussions about feelings and emotions? Do they have personal insight? Do they show a sincere interest in listening and understanding, and in being open about themselves? CAUTION: The ability to talk openly can change as time goes on. Ask (indirectly) how openly and freely they could talk and express feelings with their parents when they were kids. If raised with openness, they may be OK. If open in previous relationships, they may be OK. You can help another open up to you by establishing a sense of safety.
     
  4. Have they been in a committed relationship in the past? How is the previous partner described (e.g., fairly, with anger, unreasonableness, bias)? Get good reasons for why previous relationships didn't work. Relationship problems are rarely one-sided.
     
  5. How do your interests and values differ? A couple that has different interests can have an enriching relationship. You can negotiate the differences when they become a problem. However, relationships are easier when values are the same or when the differences in values are clearly acceptable to both. Substantial differences in values can be a potential problem.
     
  6. Do you want to change this new person? "Men want a woman who won't change; women want a man whom they can change." We can't substantially change another person without lots of skill, patience, and motivation on their part. And it is inappropriate to change the one you are in a relationship with.
     
  7. What are the other person's feelings about having sex? If you want to wait — do they respect for your concerns about not having sex right away, and about safe sex when you do? This is a great indication of their ability to care about your values and safety. It indicates respect, patience, sensitivity and ability to be supportive.

John Gray PhD, of is considered one of the world’s leading authority on relationships. He is the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, one of the best-selling non-fiction books of the 90s. Don't wait around for romance to knock on your door. Seize the day and find a date.

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What are some other ways to meet Singles in Kansas?   Go to as many singles events as you can. Variety is the key.  Don't focus on any one type of group.  

First: Meet young single professionals at fundraisers, singles charity and civic organizations.

Second: Join sports leagues, singles hiking, biking, outdoors, or adventures clubs. 

Third: Join a church or religious group for Jewish, Catholic, or Singles. Also check out singles cruises and  travel.  

Newly divorced or single parent? Get help at a singles support or divorce recovery group. 

What about online dating? Check out the information on Singlesonthego.com to learn how to place personal ads to meet single men and women online.  You'll also find great dating advice for online personals and meeting singles by using various dating services, dating agencies, matchmakers, introductions services. Go ahead, you can do it!.....check out the singles scene in your area to find a new relationship today!  Check out the list of online dating services above categorized by general, foreign/ethnic, religious, alternative, senior and single parents.

What are the best ways to meet singles in your city?   Go to as many singles events as you can. Variety is the key.  Don't focus on any one type of group.   First: Meet young single professionals at fundraisers, singles charity and civic organizations. Second: Join sports leagues, singles hiking, biking, outdoors, or adventures clubs.  Third: Join a church or religious group for Christian, Catholic, or Jewish singles. Also check out singles cruises and  travel.   Newly divorced or single parent? Get help at a singles support or divorce recovery group. 

What about online dating? Check out dating advice on Singlesonthego.com to learn how to place personal ads to meet single men and women online.  Find great dating advice for online personals and meeting singles by using various dating services, dating agencies, matchmakers, introductions services. Check out the singles scene in your area to find a new relationship today!  Check out the list of online dating services above categorized by general, foreign/ethnic, religious, alternative, senior and single parents.

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