New Mexico Dating Service
Online dating service: Myth vs. reality
By Randy Hecht
Is online dating safe?
We’ve all seen the sensationalist news reports. The way sweeps-week TV shows
portray it: Online dating is either a sea of married men pretending to be
single, unusually kinky or unsavory characters and pasty-faced internet
addicts who haven’t left their homes in months. Even people who are engaged in
online dating sometimes joke that if they meet their true loves online,
they’ll have to lie to their friends about how they met. But as more and more
perfectly normal singles become perfectly normal couples after meeting online,
the truth is becoming clear: this new technology is just one more route to
good old-fashioned romance.
Some remain wary, though.
Industry expert and
Match VP of Romance Trish McDermott has seen it all before. "The
stigma that was initially attached to print personals," she remembers, "was
that you must be a 'loser' to 'resort' to using newspapers to advertise for a
date, and there was so much uncertainty involved: How would you know anything
about the person you were going to meet? It was scary, and it was kind of a
mark against your ability to get a good date in the real world. Of course,
what happened was that personals became extremely popular. It worked; many
people fell in love and got married... and because of that the stigma has gone
Looking for love in all the right places…
So how does it work? On
Match, members select a username or handle that is incorporated into
an email address available for use only by subscribers. The company’s email
server strips subscribers’ real email addresses from messages before they are
forwarded to their recipients. This double-blind system adds a measure of
security to the process of online dating, as subscribers need not reveal any
personal or contact information until they’re ready. Members post (and have
the option of hiding) a
free profile that includes text and photographs. Certain criteria — age,
height, body type, religion, marital and parenthood status, and smoking and
drinking habits — are used to sort out the best matches by percentage, and
members can add descriptions of themselves, their interests, and their ideal
"Everyone I met was nice and normal," says Laura Banks, author of Love
Online, of her own online dating experiences. "I had a couple of close
encounters with men that didn't work out, but they were reasonable guys. One
was a respected author, and another was a lighting designer — very attractive
and literate. Not a geek." Banks also talks about one online connection that
changed her life in a very unexpected way: "Through someone I met online, I
got turned on to traditional church, which is kind of funny for such a
Match's own statistics tell us a lot about who is searching the Web
for a relationship. The median age of subscribers is in the mid-30s, the
company says; non-paying members and those who log on as guests are younger.
The male-to-female ratio is more balanced than you might think, too; women
account for nearly 50% of
Match members and more than one-third of its subscribers. Gay and
Match users account for 7% of membership, and their numbers are
growing, approaching the estimated 10% of gay people in society at large.
McDermott reports, "Match
subscribers are well-employed and well-educated. 62% have college degrees, 53%
hold managerial/professional jobs, and an additional 17% are in technical
fields." Of course, education and employment status aren't absolute indicators
of someone's behavior in social or romantic situations, but they are among the
first indicators of compatibility most people in any forum seek when
connecting with prospective dates or other new social contacts.
Let’s get serious.
"Lots of demographic information tells us that people who are using the
Internet are college-educated, intelligent, highly functioning in terms of
their ability to navigate both in terms of communication and technology,"
McDermott adds. "These are certainly not what we'd call losers in life. These
are people with jobs, people who can afford computers, people who are in a
profession where they're using computers."
What draws these people to a medium that still makes so many people so
nervous? The same thing that leads to their investing a small fortune each
year in other singles services: They want to fall in love. The Internet offers
them 24-hour access from home or work, the ability to be anonymous and secure
in ongoing interactive conversations, a level of immediacy newspapers cannot
offer, and an opportunity to screen prospective dates.
"There are over 80 million singles in the U.S. alone," McDermott says, "and
that number is expected to break 100 million within a few years. Trends in the
workplace (issues with sexual harassment, smaller companies, etc.) make it
difficult to date or find someone at work. Older singles are tired of the bar
scene and are looking for something new. On
Match, precisely because we are more upscale than chat environments
and because we require a subscription fee, our members are a bit older. This
makes sense because it is not until people approach their 30s that they become
more serious about finding a relationship."
Finding the right relationship is hard work. This technology is another
tool for helping to get the job done — and done safely, using the same common
sense rules you would exercise with someone you met at the gym, a PTA meeting
or the grocery store. More and more people are finding success in their online
romantic searches. Of course, just as not all marriages end as successful
relationships, not all successful relationships end in marriage. But those of
you who are seriously marriage-minded will delight in knowing that
Match has sparked more than 1000 marriages and countless meaningful
Match and other online dating services, more and more people can look
forward to ordering that takeout meal for two.
You've heard the facts, so what are you waiting for?
Search for local singles today!
Check out other Online Dating Services
There are so many online dating services. At last count, there are over
800 online dating services to choose from. So how do you go about finding
the best and spending your money wisely?
1. Research online dating sites. Keep in mind that online dating sites
that you have never heard of before will have a minimal database and won't
be worth your time and money. Try the big online dating sites with name
Match.com Try it free for 3 days!
2. Establish a budget. Decide how much money you want to devote to online
dating, and set a budget. Some sites charge one-time membership fees, others
automatically charge recurring monthly fees to your credit card. Most online
dating sites charge between $20-$30 a month. Some with extensive
psychological profiles and matching like E-harmony charge $49.95 a
month......but watch for their specials where they will sometimes do 2 or 3
months for the price of 1. Match.com will offer a 3 day FREE TRIAL on
3. Seek recommendations. Talk to trusted friends, colleagues, and family to
see if anyone they know has had a positive experience with a particular
online dating website.
4. Consider specialized online dating sites. Determine if you have any special interests or
unique situations that might require a more specialized online dating
website. Some online dating sites cater to customized audiences including
political affiliations, sexual preferences, race, religion, etc.
5. Determine pros and cons. Narrow down the list of potential online sites
to your top three and compare them to determine pros and cons of each. Pay
particular attention to monthly/yearly cost, free versus fee services, and
number of website members.
Try Speed Dating
in New Mexico: 25 Dates in one night at Hurry Date-25%
off off parties with online dating membership
What are some other ways to meet Singles
in New Mexico? Go to as many singles events as you can. Variety
is the key. Don't focus on any one type of group.
First: Meet young single professionals
at fundraisers, singles charity and civic organizations.
Second: Join sports leagues, singles
hiking, biking, outdoors, or adventures clubs.
Third: Join a church or religious
group for Jewish, Catholic, or Singles. Also check out singles cruises and
Newly divorced or single parent? Get
help at a singles support or divorce recovery group.
What about online dating? Check out
the information on Singlesonthego.com to learn how to place personal ads to
meet single men and women online. You'll also find great dating advice for
online personals and meeting singles by using various dating services,
dating agencies, matchmakers, introductions services. Go ahead, you can do
it!.....check out the singles scene in your area to find a new relationship
today! Check out the list of online dating services above categorized by
general, foreign/ethnic, religious, alternative, senior and single parents.